February 03, 2007

An Open Letter to Mouse Manufacturers


Let me take a moment of your time by listing what I want out of your products.

First, I want a wireless mouse, and y'all seem to be doing a bang-up job of that with the four types of wireless Newegg.com has available to sell to me. Good job.

It also needs to be optical at a minimum. My needs aren't yet sufficiently advanced to require the dpi offered by the higher end laser mice, but it's nice to see that you're ready for me when I want it. So again, good show; you're on a roll.

I only need three buttons: right, middle (mouse wheel) and left. If your contract with the Mice Button Producers of America, Canada and Dubai require you to add more than those that I need, please, for the love of apple pie, strippers and Tiger Woods, only add one more. When it's late, I'm drunk and playing games online, I really don't need to be confused by lots of Pressing Options. Really. Honest.

Lastly, and a far larger deal breaker than buttons, make the damn thing rechargable. In. Your. Own. Cradle. I do not want rechargable AA batteries; I could use those in my current mouse. I bought it about 5 years ago.

I'd like a new mouse. Mine's a bit aged and I'm a bit tired of having to pop in new batteries or to make sure I have some rechargables all charged up and ready to direct the Night Elves to victory or make a chicken do my bidding. Or whatever. The future is now, and I can't let dead mouse batteries keep me from seeing if someone's put bacon on a cat lately.

I'd like to give some company money for a new mouse, but not one company that I can find puts my four criteria to work in one simple package. I know it wouldn't be leetz0rs, but neither are most computer users. Screw flying cars, I want my damn dream mouse.